When you start a family, your priorities shift dramatically. Gone are the get-up-and-go to the bar after work days. Your whole life is centered around your children and you have adjusted to that. You’ve found new happiness in the great responsibility of being a new parent. If there’s anything you’ve learned however, some of your childless friends may have an even harder time adjusting to your new life than you do. Those up all night friendships just don’t fit into your schedule the way they used to. Sometimes you miss your singleton buddies and they miss you too. Here are few things to consider when trying to maintain a relationship with your childless friends when their priorities are so different from yours.

Not everyone is a kid person

There are two types of people in this world: people who want to hold the baby and people who avoid eye contact for fear of making the baby cry. If you used to spend every waking moment with your friend Ann before having a baby and now she hardly calls, it may not mean that she hates you. Some childless people are just not that comfortable with children. Being around you with your baby isn’t the same kind of fun for them. If you REALLY can’t find time to periodically to spend with this friend without your little one, you may have to cut your losses with this friend. Some best friends get demoted to Facebook acquaintances. That’s life.

Find balance with the friends that sort of like kids

Some friends may love being around your children, but they still need to have the occasional grownup talk without the daycare in the background. Whether it’s once a week or once every 6 months; make sure to visit your friends without little one. You’ll find that a break from the rigmarole of parenting duties are good for you too.

Ask your friends to come over and integrate them

Think back to before you had a child of your own. Have you ever been invited out with someone and their friend and felt virtually invisible between the two of them. No one comes before your child, your friend gets that. Be sure to make them feel comfortable with your children with proper introductions and even asking your friend to hold the baby. The more comfortable they are with your baby, the more likely they’ll come around.

Don’t say “you don’t understand!”

Okay, sometimes they really DON’T understand why you can NEVER go anywhere at the drop of the dime. But telling a grownup they don’t understand is slightly insulting.

Your friend is childless, not dumb.

This person obviously cares for you and wants to be around you so instead of accusing, do some schooling. Tell them exactly how you feel. Explain why certain on the fly adventures are no longer an option. Any good friend should open themselves up to understand how you feel.

Be supportive of what’s important to them in small ways.

I know nothing in the world could possibly be more important than your child, but it’s important to make your loved ones feel significant too. When you can’t always make it to their special dates and parties, always follow up with a courtesy phone call or congratulations text to show them that you thought of them. This small but meaningful gesture is so much better than falling off the radar all together.

When you’re exhausted and need a grownup shoulder to lean on, you’re going to need your friends. Your childless friend is trying their best to understand the changed dynamics of your friendship with them, try to make it easy. It is more than likely that they’ll have a child too one day. How do you keep up with your childless friends?

Written by Alicia Overby - Founder & President of Baby Elephant Ears

Alicia is wife, mother, and creator of Baby Elephant Ears. Baby Elephant Ears was created out of parental concern, not financial desire. In 2005, when their second child was an infant, he cried all the time and just couldn't seem to get comfortable.

After seeking advice and suggestion from the medical community and alternative medicine, they eventually ended up in the chiropractors office where their baby was successfully treated for asubluxation, discomfort most likely the result of the strain during labor, which was now being exacerbated by the normal lack of infant neck strength. Only proper neck, head, and back alignment would offer him relief. When they couldn't find a product to give their baby the necessary support, Alicia took matters into her own hands and crafted her own infant support pillow. The first Baby Elephant Ears was born!

For more information, visit www.babyelephantears.com.

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