In a cruel twist of fate, this morning I was faced with reality. Let me back up and start at the beginning.

Well it's been six weeks, so as usual I was scheduled to see the Dr. today at 3:45 p.m. However, they called this morning to see if I could come in earlier as there was a cancellation. My babysitter agreed and in I went at 10:30 a.m. fully prepared to discuss prevention options. I was quickly called in and undressed as instructed and sit there, covered by my comfortable paper sheet, waiting for my Dr. A few moments later a light knocking on the door and the nurse re-entered the room, "The doctor was just called over to the hospital, would you like to wait a little while?" Thoughts of the $8.00 an hour I was paying to be there, and the unlikely chance that re-scheduling would be an easy task, caused me to say, "Maybe I could wait 20 minutes or so and then you could let me know if she's likely to return soon?" But we all know what that means when a doctor goes over to the hospital...she's delivering a baby! So over the next 20 minutes I sat there, stripped down, chilled and listening to the beautiful sound of a fetal heart monitor pounding away in the room next to me. Intermittent giggles and laughter echoed from that same room. I, in complete envy, listened and imagined the scenario that may have been playing out in that room while I waited to discuss preventing me from being that women in the near future. Why? I wanted to be there...I want to be the one that the doctor is rushing to deliver...the one experiencing the heart tones for the first time.

So after the 20 mins. had passed the doctor was still gone (because who in the world delivers a baby is 20 mins?....) and I had decided to re-schedule. Lo and behold my original 3:45 p.m. was still available and so was my babysitter. I returned at 3:45 to see the doctor and found myself amidst another ironic situation. There I lay...awkward moments that we have all had. That's when she asks the question "Is there a possibility you could be pregnant?"..."NO" I said, "Why?" Apparently there was something that pointed her to that conclusion (that I will not discuss in detail in respect for any male readers this blog has). "Are you sure?" she asked..."I am positive!" I respond. "SO you're telling me if you were it would be immaculate conception?" And at this point I am wondering if I had been chosen! "I am telling you it would definitely be a miracle if I was pregnant!" It turned out I am not pregnant *sigh*...but she was surprised. I was disappointed.

You see I am at a standstill. My husband believes we may be done...I wish otherwise. However I have to say, he is my husband and I will feel immensely blessed if our family of 6 is complete. I respect his reasons and know that he is the parent who misses more than I. I do, however, hope that in the next 4 months or so to know for sure if this was it. For now all of the pregnant beauties walking around, little tiny babies crying, and cruel irony of life will just be part of the decision process. So bring it on...show me those bellies...let me hear the babies crying and remember the 4 miracles of life I have been blessed with!

Written by Alicia Overby - Founder & President of Baby Elephant Ears

Alicia is wife, mother, and creator of Baby Elephant Ears. Baby Elephant Ears was created out of parental concern, not financial desire. In 2005, when their second child was an infant, he cried all the time and just couldn't seem to get comfortable.

After seeking advice and suggestion from the medical community and alternative medicine, they eventually ended up in the chiropractors office where their baby was successfully treated for a subluxation, discomfort most likely the result of the strain during labor, which was now being exacerbated by the normal lack of infant neck strength. Only proper neck, head, and back alignment would offer him relief. When they couldn't find a product to give their baby the necessary support, Alicia took matters into her own hands and crafted her own infant support pillow. The first Baby Elephant Ears was born!

For more information, visit babyelephantears.com.