Fights between brothers and sisters are an inevitable part of growing up together. Spending so much time with a person is sure to trigger some disagreements, and when siblings are close in age, these conflicts are more likely.

Whether it’s a fight over who played the video game last, or whose turn is it to wash the dishes, it will seem like there’s always something to quarrel over. Sibling rivalry at its core is a little more complex than bickering. It’s an ongoing competition grounded in jealously and sometimes insecurity.

A little competition never hurt anyone, but sibling rivalry that gets out of hand could lead to real trouble. Here are our tips on how to loosely control the jealous feud between your kids.

1. Make sure both children are held accountable

“He started it” is among one of the favorite lines our kids like to use when called out on their bickering. Although the sibling that started the argument should be accountable, the other sibling has the ability to escalate or diffuse the situation.

By holding both children responsible for where the fight escalates to, you avoid setting a tone for competition. Instead this encourages a partnership that allows them to work through issues together. Make sure you weigh both sides of the story carefully, before you start dishing out punishments.

2. Don’t discipline one in front of the other

Making a mockery out of punishment only nurtures sibling rivalry. Being scolded can be humiliating even when it’s necessary. Make an effort to discipline your children away from the others to avoid adding fuel to the fire. The last your child needs is to be teased about being disciplined later. This leads to more bickering.

3. Acknowledge each child’s feelings

These petty arguments may seem trivial to you, but in the heat of the moment they are everything to your children. Don’t be dismissive when your child is expressing their feelings. Take your time to work through the cause of those feelings and try to understand them. Even if one of your children tends to pick with the other, don’t assume the aggressor is not suffering in some way or another. If you sweep their feelings under the rug, they’ll stop confiding in you all together.

4. Don’t compare the two

When it comes to sibling dynamics, being compared to your honor roll, talented older sister is no fun. Your children will have different strengths and weaknesses. It’s so important not to compare the success of one child to the shortcomings of the other. This can greatly impact their self-esteem and even create resentment. This resentment can manifest for years if not tackled early. The last thing you want to do as a parent is encourage the great vendetta. 

Written by Alicia Overby - Founder & President of Baby Elephant Ears

Alicia is wife, mother, and creator of Baby Elephant Ears. Baby Elephant Ears was created out of parental concern, not financial desire. In 2005, when their second child was an infant, he cried all the time and just couldn't seem to get comfortable.

After seeking advice and suggestion from the medical community and alternative medicine, they eventually ended up in the chiropractors office where their baby was successfully treated for asubluxation, discomfort most likely the result of the strain during labor, which was now being exacerbated by the normal lack of infant neck strength. Only proper neck, head, and back alignment would offer him relief. When they couldn't find a product to give their baby the necessary support, Alicia took matters into her own hands and crafted her own infant support pillow. The first Baby Elephant Ears was born!

For more information, visit www.babyelephantears.com.

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